The conversations people have...

Overheard at a restaurant...

Guy 1: Whaddya think about the waitress?

Guy 2: She's okay.

Guy 3: Yeh man.

Guy 2: I'd let her suck my dick.

All: *laugh*

Since when do people "allow" someone to give them oral pleasure, as if it is some sort of privilege for the giver? This jackass should be thankful a woman will talk to him, much less get close enough to give him oral pleasure.


File under: stupid people shouldn't speak...or breed

A tale of two guitar stores (or A Lesson in How to Lose A Loyal Customer)

Guitar Center vs. Sam Ash

For the past couple of years, Guitar Center has been my music store of choice. I made a trip into the Sam Ash at Ontario Mills in Ontario, CA a while back and deemed it too pricey for my tastes. Guitar Center’s prices seemed more reasonable and they are closer to my house. Two electric guitars, an amp, strings, a case and other accessories later I bought a couple of microphones from them. Got them home…they were rather pitiful in quality. I returned decided to them. I get there, and spend 15 minutes waiting to return them, as none of the sales people want to deal with me when they find out I am bringing back defective merchandise, since they are paid commission. I understand that, I have worked in sales before. But I’m sorry, I you are not a good enough sales person to make money and take the hit of a return, then you really shouldn’t be in sales my friend. The guy that sold me the crappy mics is there, sees me, but instead of addressing my issue, he asks me to wait…he’s trying to close a sale with another customer. Finally, he has time for me and my little problems and I begin telling him how I got nothing but static from them and wanted to exchange or return them.

Now, the appropriate action here would have been to apologize, and ask me what he could do for me. But that is not what happened.

For the next 15 minutes, he tested out the 2 microphones. 15 minutes. 15 minutes I had to stand around. ‘check, check 1, check, check, check 1, check 1, 2, check 1, 2” Oy vey. I’d like those 15 minutes of my life back. When he is satisfied that the mics are indeed crap, he walks me back up to the register. I ask what else he has in a similar price range and the lazily points in the direction of the mic case and mumbles an unintelligible product number. I looked at him in disbelief before circling around the case trying to decide which mics he was referring to. Apparently, his legs had stopped working as he didn’t actually remove himself from behind the register to show me the comparable microphones. I think he must have gotten tired of waiting for me though, as he eventually meandered over and pointed out a set of microphones that were $200 more…each. Riiiight. Needless to say, I got my money back and booked it over to Sam Ash. It was now 45 minutes until they closed for the night thanks to my debacle at Guitar Center and I was 15 minutes away. D’oh.

Arrived at Sam Ash at 8:30pm, closing time is 9:00pm. A young guy in the mic section pointed me away from the uber expensive studio mics and to the more reasonably priced ones. Then, much to my surprise, he plugged in the mics for me to test out. I told him about the fiasco with the mics at Guitar Center, he asked what brand I had gotten there and then he looked at me in confusion when I told him. He had never heard of this brand that I had been led to believe was such a great brand. Then he showed me how the brand I was currently testing also made a $21,000 sound console thingie. Uh, yeh, the quality was much better. Sadly, they were going to cost more than the ones they tried to sell me at Guitar Center, but I got them anyways. Not only did they guy at Sam Ash knock off almost $100 each on the mics, but he gave me a free mic cable – the one we tested the mics on. He said that way I knew for sure that it worked since we tested it. This whole process – 15 minutes. 15 minutes! Better service, better product, less time.

RIP Guitar Center.

I am now a Sam Ash customer for life.

I'm going guitar shopping this week...at Sam Ash. Even though I have to drive right by Guitar Center to get there. Maybe I'll flip them off as I pass by.

File under: how to keep (or lose) a customer

My boss - the idiot

I have 3 bosses - one is the controller of the company. I just overheard him telling how he lost $10,000 yesterday playing poker online. Um, I have to work like 3-4 months just to take home that much money.



File under: idiots with too much money

Managers on a power trip - always a good time

An email I got from my boss...

I have gotten a few comments from other departments about you reading the paper at your desk. So to keep both of us from getting in trouble why don't you start reading the paper at home from 7:30-8 and get here at 8. Or something like that.

Yet, I walk by his desk and he's reading the paper...say what?


File under: hypocrisy, lousy boss, my job sucks ass

Note to Disney

Dearest Disney,

Deaths and injuries are bad for business.

Warmest regards,
me



File under: this never happens at Cedar Point!

Stupid people....they're everywhere! and blaming YOU for their fuckups

From my other half, sent from work moments ago...

so i just had one of our thoughts on things proven... i just had a girl call me and say "did you order our products today?" and I said "yes" and she said "well, is there a reason they weren't ordered on wednesday?" and i said "yes. i was missing all kinds of information" which she knew because i called her about the order i needed yesterday and told her i needed it... then i called her again today and asked her if she sent it (and she hadn't). i told her yesterday that i couldn't order without it... then i heard it, someone in the background talking to her "well i am completely out of product!" i am getting real tired of people thinking that they can pass their fucking mistakes off on me...

File under: incompetence strikes again!

Today's lesson: K is for stupid

At taco bell ordering some grease-soaked tacos and all of a sudden the girl working the register goes 'did you go see Carrot Top?' And I'm trying to order so I'm looking around trying to figure out who the hell she is talking to, if she has tourette's or what. And then she looks up at me and goes 'did you go see Carrot Top?' and I look at her like wtf? and she goes 'Your shirt, it says K is for Carrot Top' and I'm like 'no, it doesn't, it says karate chop!' wtf?

Since when is K for Carrot Top? So not only can she not spell for shit, but she can't read! She thinks carrot starts with a 'k'...a 'k!'... a 'K' ferchrissakes!

File under: ignorance, way to go 'no child left behind'

So sorry, we lost your check so we charged your account twice!

So, I noticed that a check I wrote was posted to my account twice and called the bank about it. Here is the response I got...

Thank you for contacting NetBank.

Check #1097 was represented to your account on 7/5/06 in error as a result of being lost in transit within the Federal Reserve Banking System. We have credited your account $200.00 for correction and forwarded this information to the depositing bank for further adjustment. We apologize for any inconvenience you may have experienced with this issue. If you need further assistance, please contact us. We value your business and appreciate your choosing NetBank.

While I am grateful to have my $200 back, wtf? Lost within the Federal Reserve Banking system...so it gets taken outta the account twice? Riiiight. Wonder how many poor schmucks this has happened to that never noticed it?

Note to self: keep all money in shoebox under bed. it will be safer there.

File under: incompetence

Bono wants answers, and he wants them now, dammit!

Too bad a bunch of assclowns are replying. Like this little nugget:

You can reduce it and help millons of peolple but you cant make it story.Why ?? The answer is your question: that was asked all over the story of time.

What does that mean exactly? You cant make it story? story? Hrm, I dunno. And here’s a good one:

It's just "one" simple thing, but powerful: pray!

Well, golly gee, it’s just that easy now is it?

Interesting hypocrisy jab here:

Maybe rich white singers in far off lands should sell their mansions, limos, and clothes, get off their narcissistic trip and give it all to the poor. Hard to believe people like that bono guy live in a million dollar mansion and has the gaul to lecture all of us about poverty. People like him and Paul Simon are white-guilters who want attention. When these people sell their mansions and go live here (see link) then I will donate a few bucks. Otherwise, it's do as I say, not as I do, hypocrisy!


And my fave post so far, yay socialism:

Make rich liberals give up their material goods in the name of socialism which they are always beating us over the heads with. How is it possible that rich whiney liberals live in the same city as extremely poor people? Am I the only one who understands this contradiction? Problem solved.

Send Bono your thoughts here.

File under: poverty, hypocrisy?

You know what sounds like fun? Outrunning a group of half-ton bulls! Yeah!

Further proof that there are too many stupid people in the world. How exactly does outrunning a group of bulls seem like a good idea? And the more important question, exactly how much booze must one consume to come to that conclusion?


File under: idiots

AOL..still retarded

As per my earlier post, AOL has had the most brilliant idea about giving away free high speed internet. (bad idea) Supposedly, they think they can make money purely off ad revenue. Apparently, they've had another idea....that totally contradicts their new plan....they've cancelled advertising deals made during the upfront market with broadcast and cable networks. Hrm...


File under: aol still retarded, still sucking ass

This just in...Star Jones has fans! I know, I'm as shocked as you are.

According to an article over at ShowbizData, several thousand visitors to the Star Jones site want to contact ABC about her firing. Now, the article gives the impression that these 'several thousand visitors' are outraged and want to contact ABC execs to berate them...but it doesn't actually say that.

My hypothesis -- thankful viewers want to let ABC know how excited they are to see her outta there! Yeh, I knew she didn't really have any fans...besides those plastic surgeons, et al...if you, too, would like to thank them, the contact info is apparently on her site, but enter at your own risk. godspeed


File under: sneaky TV stars and their blasted tomfoolery!, aka I'm talking to you Star Jones!

AOL throws its hands up in the air and shrugs

Let’s see, according to the Washington Post, AOL stated that it lost 850,000 customers in the first quarter of the year. So, they put their heads together and came up with a brilliant plan. Wait for it…..wait for it….*drumroll*....offer free high speed internet! Yeah! Yeah! Wait…no…wait, no, hells no! What kind of sense does that make? Do they not realize what is driving away their customers? It’s not the price of service asswipes. It is your shitty McShitty™ software. I know, because I’m one of the poor bastards that use it.

Now, listen up AOL, here’s whatcha need to do…get some software that doesn’t lock up and then tell the user that the ‘system is not responding,’ which results in AOL having to restart. That can really put a cramp in your cybering. And what about that AOL Spyware Protection? It never fails that it wants to scan my system when I want to surf the net or check my email. That is so not convenient. Speaking of email, why oh why do I lose my unread mail after 30 days when the hacks that use AOL.com email can store their old mail? The default for AOL should be unlimited mail storage, you stingy bastards. (Reason #1 why I am transitioning to Gmail for my email needs.) And let us not forget that AOL also wants to manage my router for me. AOL is like that bossy kid that sits in the front of the class licking the teacher’s ass and telling everyone what to do. Here’s a memo you may have missed AOL…no one likes the bossy kid!!

File under: Bad Business

and so it begins...

my quest to fight the forces of hypocrisy, ignorance and incompetence.